Search for the Truth

“To know the truth, you’ve got to experience it yourself.”

Everything changed in 2023

It was my first year of starting high school, and I was excited about almost everything. Before starting, I asked a few of my friends who were older than me if high school was ‘hard’. Most responded with, “Nah, it’s quite easy,” or “You’ll be alright.” These responses came from people who had experienced going to high school. But when it came to asking my parents if it was ‘difficult’, they replied with a “Yes.” Since they had gone to high school a while back, the overall system of classes and teaching would have changed significantly.

My excitement levels stayed high, as I was patiently waiting for my first day to come. When the day arrived, I stood stationary in the hallway, trying to figure out where the room ‘A1’ was. After many directions from my fellow peers, I found my classroom and arrived on time. Gradually, I started getting used to my classes, classmates, and teachers. They all seemed quite nice, and I didn’t seem to have a single problem with them throughout the whole year.

As the school year started, I initially thought everything was going to be hard, like my parents had said, but it turned out I actually enjoyed it. It was a little tricky at first, but the more I experienced it, the more it started becoming enjoyable. I formed many bonds with my classmates and competed with myself to improve academically every chance I got.

The truth isn’t what you expect

I was seconds away from giving the most important speech of my life. My heart was racing. It felt like my throat was filled with cinnamon sticks. Until they called my name: “Now, next up is Sparsh Saini!”

That was a day I’ll never forget. The speech wasn’t even that significant at all. It was just a Year 8 graduation speech I was giving for my cohort. A few days before the speech, I was tasked with writing something motivational, and a lesson that others could take from it. I somehow managed to write that speech in 60 minutes and only rehearsed it several times.

I felt confident at first, but when it was just a few minutes before the speech, my confidence was blown away by a strong gust of wind. I had no trace of motivation or determination left. I couldn’t drop out either. I was up next. I could hardly breathe as I stood there like the Statue of Liberty, not even able to bring my speech to eye level. After a few seconds of standing frozen, the crowd gave me a round of applause to begin. That helped unlock the determination that had been hidden inside me.

After that, I surprisingly gave my speech with full confidence and even managed to crack a joke while I was at it. This made me realise how easy the speech actually was, and that all the nervousness and stress I had before was just nonsense.

Others shape your truth

The version of ourselves that we believe in is just one of the pieces that make up the whole puzzle. We tend to see ourselves based on our experiences. Hazel Markus formed a theory that involved the concept of self-schemas, which suggests that we internalise experiences that shape our thoughts and behaviours.

The power of self-schemas

Schemas are a cognitive framework or structure that help us perceive certain experiences. It’s simply a web of experiences that help us interpret and categorise information. For instance, if someone calls you bad at science, you might develop a self-schema thinking, “Science is my weakness.” Or if you solve a tricky maths problem, you might think, “I’m good at maths.” These self-schemas are carved by our experiences.

When you experience something, your mind subconsciously develops opinions about yourself, which shape what you believe. I’ve put together a few steps on how this process of thinking forms our self-perception:

1. The experience occurs

   The process starts with a simple situation, whether it’s your boss giving you recognition for leading one of the biggest projects or achieving a high result at school. These experiences create the foundation for the next step.

2. Thought process begins

   Once the experience has occurred, your brain starts creating links and comparisons with other similar experiences while trying to consolidate and form your thoughts.

3. Self-schemas start forming

   Every thought then builds up to shape your preliminary beliefs, like winning a science competition or getting promoted at work due to your commitment. These experiences create and reinforce your self-beliefs.

These steps are just the fundamentals of how your brain responds to certain experiences. Understanding how your experiences are formed is crucial. It helps determine which path you follow.

How to find your truth

A couple of years ago, I was just taking my new mountain bike out for a ride when something peculiar caught my eye. There was an immense number of vapes piled up on top of each other on the side of the footpath. While waiting for the cars to pass by, I questioned myself, “Why would anyone spend their money on vapes, and then abandon them on a footpath?” That question has stayed with me to this day.

This sets our trajectory toward the real lesson: how influence from society can lead to two paths.

The crowd’s path

Following the ‘crowd’ isn’t always the best approach in certain aspects of your life. What you want and what other people want don’t always match. Let’s bring back the vape example. The massive pile showed how many people had been involved, displaying it as a habitual trend. If others walked past and thought, “There are a lot of people who vape, I should give it a go,” that kind of thinking will lead you to jump off a cliff if the crowd does.

Your own path

The path that you set, and follow is up to you. Society can inspire you to become who you want to be. But the decision is yours. When you look at successful entrepreneurs like Elon Musk or Bill Gates, they didn’t simply follow a trend or copy what their friends were doing. They pursued their own path and created the unique products and services we use today.

You may be wondering which path is best for you. Well, it is your own path, but the truth is that it can also depend on your circumstances. For instance, you want to be a surgeon, but your family conditions aren’t right, like being tight on money and unable to afford university. In that situation, you have two options:

• Ditch your dream and follow the crowd’s path
• Keep trying to find other ways, like doing a scholarship test or studying part-time

“The truth isn’t always visible, but it’s always discoverable through your own experience.”